One woman's incredible story:
It was 2 years ago this month that I was sitting in a chair looking at my unborn baby in 4D. She was precious! We had previously found out that our baby had several “markers” for down syndrome and had enlarged kidneys which may have required surgery upon birth. Thus we were monitored more carefully and had a ton more ultrasound shots at a hospital. This was the first level 3 ultrasound with this pregnancy (I had had one with my 3rd with no problems). I got to gaze upon my baby for almost a full hour – it was wonderful! I was there alone as my husband was out of town. The specialist doctor called me in after the ultrasound to go over the findings. The first words out of his mouth to me were “Well you will have to come in tomorrow for your abortion because of how far along you are.” I was utterly shocked and devastated. All I could do was mutter “What??????” He then proceeded to tell me that my baby had more “markers” for down syndrome and it didn’t look good. I was more shocked that his automatic assumption was that I would abort my baby. I almost couldn’t comprehend what he was telling me in that office . . .
I decided against the amnio to find out for sure and thus my pregnancy went on not knowing whether or not I was going to have a baby with down syndrome. For me at that point the risk of miscarriage outweighed the need to know. What I did do was to research as much as possible about down syndrome to prepare. What I found out is what I want to remember and never forget. I do not know what the implications of this knowledge will be for my life but I am confident that this ordeal was not an accident. I found that over 90% of babies that are diagnosed with down syndrome are aborted. Those words the doctor spoke to me were for a reason and out of his experience. This has chilled me to the bone. Another fact I found was that even if your baby is diagnosed with down syndrome there is no way to tell what function level the child will be at. Some children with down syndrome go on to graduate from high school and lead independent lives. Others will require continual care. The point is that they can not tell you what the function level of the child will be. Having a special needs child is hard. It is life changing. It alters the family in ways that are not predictable. But who are we to judge who lives and dies?
Our fourth daughter was born in August with no physical problems. Her kidneys were fine and she did not have down syndrome. What my heart went through in the months of not knowing I hope and pray will never leave me.
Article:
If you don't believe that life begins at conception and that all life is precious, the doctor's advice probably makes sense. What upsets me is when people get on the abortion wagon and are not willing to help those who need it. I can understand why some people choose to have an abortion because it can be very overwhelming and scary. I have always said that I would have found something like the women in the story much harder to deal with than Annabel because they are forever. It must be a terrible worry for parents as they get older as to what will happen to their disabled child. We need to be better as a community at supporting parents who make the decision not to abort. We need to show people that it really is an option to keep their babies and that there will be people to help. It is the same as everything else - it is about relationships. It is like suicide really - it is really sad when people feel that they have no other option but to kill.We also need more doctors who believe in life, God, miracles. Dr Debelak told me to pack a bag when we went to Tamworth when we found out about Annabel because I would have to stay in hospital overnight after the abortion. The specialist in Tamworth could not understand why I didn't want that option. I looked into catholic hospitals in Sydney at the time because I wanted to deal with people who I felt would understand my decision.Life is hard and we all face decisions that are life changing. We just have to hope and pray that we make the right ones and that we support those around us, not just with words but in action.
ReplyDeleteWell, I don't often share this story, but I think it illustrates that EVERYONE is valuable regardless of their IQ. My cousin was born at a time and place when modern procedures were not known. The doctor wasn't available so the nurses tried to stop the birth until his arrival. Because of this, she was born mentally retarded.When I was pregnant with my 3rd child, I had a doctor's appointment and my cousin INSISTED on coming with me. She travelled literally hours by bus to me and back so she could be there. When I was in the office, the doctor announced that the baby I was carrying was dead. I left the office like a zombie, starting to cross a 4 line highway with no thought as to traffic. My cousin grabbed my arm and reminded me of what her mother had needed to tell her countless times, "Look out for the cars, you need to look BOTH ways before crossing the street."That girl saved me from being hit and killed by a car. It was because she was retarded and not in spite of it that she was able to notice such a basic thing.I had been a little frustrated at her insistance at coming with me, but afterwards I realized that God had put her there to provide the comfort and care that I needed.
ReplyDeleteIt is sad that abortion is seen as the norm without seeing the value of all human beings. If Margaret had heeded our doctor's advice, we wouldn't have Josh (who before birth supposedly had spina bifida but turned out to be completely normal) and where would the world be without him?
ReplyDeleteNormal? Well... let's leave it at "didn't have spina bifida" :P
ReplyDeleteAll I can say Phil, is we're glad you didn't have spina bifida either!
ReplyDelete