Paul Burgin gives these important survival tips for anyone planning to visit the fictional county of Midsomer:
Being a fan of Midsomer Murders, I was intrigued by a recent tweet from Smithsky1979, who made a comment about her and her husband spending the weekend in "Midsomer County" and being careful. It reminded me of doing a blogpost of the 10 don't s of anyone wanted to live in the famed fictional county, so here it is:
1) When on a group sport activity, don't get yourself on your own, or with just you and a "trusted" person, you might end up being knocked out and something horrible happening to you with no cast iron guarantee of Barnaby arriving in the nick of time
2) Do not have an affair with the wife of a local landowner/publican/local alcoholic artist. Otherwise you'll end up dead in a ditch, car with breaks cut, a heavy antique table falling on top of you, knife in the front when the lights are out at a Party/electricity power cut
3) Try to get along with everyone. I'd hate for you to end up tied down by a croquet set and have a trebuchet filled with bottles of red wine hurtling your way
4) Do not have anything to do with estate agents. Period! Mind you that probably applies anywhere and at anytime :-/
5) Don't join any social event involving the Barnabys
6) Avoid childhood friends. One of them probably remembers an incident from childhood that they have not forgotten. You know harmless scrapes like throwing him down a well
7) If you are female, elderly, and have a habit of prowling round villages past eleven PM and have a tendency to blackmail people, best not stay
8) Try not to resemble anyone who once lived in the county, long since dead, who inspired affection and/or loathing
9) Do not join any amateur dramatics, glee club, cricket team. These are fatal organisations to be involved with. Literally
10) Do not attempt to buy a house that has been in a family for three generations (see 4)
Otherwise, have fun ;-)
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