From "Prodigal Kiwi"
Saturday, 01 March 2008
Church: The Toll it can Take…
Paul writes - Following on from yesterday’s post I wanted to link to this post from Andrew Menzies across the Tasman in Melbourne. Andrew and I met last year. It was a great time amongst some good people grappling with questions of church and mission in Western culture. Sitting at the "commonwealth countries" table in the sun with some good food and a glass of wine nicely contrasted the harder work of three full-days.
“…My friends looked tired. Very tired. They hung off their chairs, had lost their humour and seemed to have no life.
They told me of their busy lives but that is nothing new… lots of people are busy and this couple have young children and both hold responsible jobs. Being an old friend I had the right to push a little deeper to explore why they were so exhausted. I know they would do the same for me. Was this just ‘one of those weeks’ or was there something deeper going on?
The kids were well and both of their jobs were progressing positively. While they had busy and pressured positions there was nothing abnormal going on for a high achieving couple like this. So I asked them why they were both so fatigued? Was this a signal of deeper emotional trouble?
They replied that life was normal: kids, work and church. So I asked what commitments that they had going on at church? And that is when I found the cause of their fatigue. I even feel tired writing it all down now… multiple Sunday services, small groups, committees, church board, Bible studies, men’s groups, women’s groups, youth groups, mentoring, rosters, music practice, etc. Somehow service to God and the Kingdom has resulted for my friends in more busyness, greater stress, poorer quality family relationships and little time for friendships.
Why is it that a church can suck the life out of great people like this couple? Isn’t church meant to add life and commission us to go? And why is it that we hold so passionately to structures and systems that colonize and strangle the very realities they claim to achieve?
…I too in times past had paid a similar cost in a similar setting…[that resonates]
…Their value to their church depended on their output and contribution in that organization.
My friends were caught up in an organizational system determined to win as many people as possible to its’ particular system of beliefs. But there was little practical or pastoral concern for the damage this was causing my friend’s lives….”
Read Andrew’s reflection in full, here.
From a really human (and probably very unflattering point of view).... I got overwhelmed in the church too. I thought that if someone asked me to do something, it was my duty to say yes.My mother told me that I should let others help - maybe they were too shy or something to ask to help and that I should let them have the opportunity to serve too.I was torn between these two points of view.Then I got replaced. I was playing the piano for the seniors' Sunday School class and they decided it was better to have a senior citizen play instead of me.I was SO insulted. I thought they didn't want me, didn't like me, didn't need me. Instead I decided that maybe God wanted me elsewhere, Pioneer Girls, Childrens Church, Children's Sunday School. So I got overwhelmed again.I think, in retrospect, I should have LISTENED to God, instead of just saying Yes all the time.
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