I've just had another session with a couple who are to get married in a few weeks time.
They are really nice people. It's really been great getting to know them and spend time with them.
As part of the preparation for marriage I get people to fill in the "Prepare" questionnaire. This covers a whole range of issues surrounding marriage and really opens up conversation between the partners and also with the celebrant.
I've noticed the last couple of times I've done this that the couples have been living together for a couple of years but their profile is more like that of your traditional "bad" marriage where they are fighting all the time.
I think there may be a connection. It seems to me that the modern trends of so-called "liberal" attitudes to sex and living together before actually making a formal public commitment to one another may accentuate the negatives in a relationship (poor self-esteem, poor communication) while lacking the glue of a vow to commit and to love one another regardless.
This couple had some other issues. The husband was pretty well abandoned by his father, and basically filters all his relationships through fear of rejection.
We spent some time talking about the issues. I offered that they can come around any time if they want to talk some more.
I pray that God will bring come hope and healing into the relationship.
Perhaps the wedding will be a step forward in that process.
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