Man Mistaken for Rodent

From "The dilbert blog":

I opened my web browser today and noticed a story about a man in Oregon who was snorkeling in a river and got shot in the head because some other guy thought he was a rodent.

There is nothing funny about being shot in the head. Unless you were snorkeling in a river and someone thought you were a rodent.

Fortunately, the snorkeler is recovering well. Apparently the bullet hit the densest part of his skull and shattered.

To reiterate, there is nothing funny about being shot in the head. Unless you were snorkeling in a river, someone thought you were a rodent, and your skull is so dense it can stop a bullet.

The shooter mistook the snorkeler for a nutria. That’s a rat-looking thing that swims. Apparently the river has a lot of swimming rodents in it. I don’t think I have to tell you that the very best place you can snorkel is a river that’s full of swimming rats. It is good scenery and good friends all in one.

The snorkeler said he was in the river looking for different species of fish. There was no mention in the story about whether he saw any, thus making the entire thing worthwhile.

I admire the snorkeler’s sense of adventure, and apparent lack of plane fare. I wish I had the kind of spirit where I could wake up in the morning, turn to my wife and say, “Honey, I can’t spend time with you and the kids today. I’m going to go snorkel in a rodent-infested river and look for fish the hard way.”

I would hate to be on snorkeler’s end of the “told you’s” today:

I told you not to snorkel in the river.
I told you that nutria aren’t a new species of fish.
I told you to wax your back so you don’t look so much like a giant rodent.

The man who did the shooting got arrested for being a felon in possession of methamphetamines and marijuana. (This is just a guess, but I think the police missed a drug or two.)

I know you’re probably thinking the same thing that I’m thinking: If I were a felon in possession of illegal drugs, I’d be shooting a rifle into a river too. It’s hard to imagine that plan somehow going wrong.

I can’t decide if the snorkeler was unlucky because he got shot, or lucky because the bullet hit the densest part of his skull. I’m an optimist, so I see his skull as half dense. You might be a pessimist and see the river as a shooting range that’s full of rats plus one guy who seriously needs a new hobby. You are entitled to your opinion.

The Dilbert Blog
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